Not too bad.

            This time, Andy, Chris and I left the campus earlier in an attempt to spend more time with the homeless people. We arrived at Harrisburg around 7pm but even then, some people were sleeping already. I looked around and I have noticed that there were more people than there were in the beginning of the month. Usually, people get money from the government in the beginning of the month; many homeless people are hard to find during that time since they are busy squandering the money.

            I greeted Mr. Boyd and he seemed happy to see me again. Mr. Boyd is from Dominican Republic and currently an American citizen. He is very short, and he always wears a turban on his head.  As soon as I greeted him, Mr. Boyd started to talk about the same thing that he has already told me when I met him first time. While talking to Mr. Boyd, I realized that he had some sort of patterns in his stories. Funny thing was that he ended the conversation with the same sentence that he used last time: “I am Mr. Boyd, and I am an advocate for the homeless people.” As Andy said, Mr. Boyd knew “how to talk the talk.”

            After the conversation with Mr. Boyd, I walked to the guy to whom Andy was talking. The man’s name was Don.  He was a short but big white man. Don had a delightful personality but seemed to like women too much – every time women with short skirts passed by, he whistled and cracked some inappropriate jokes about them.

            Don had a turbulent life. He worked as a painter for a long time but his girl friend who was a drug addict stabbed him in his stomach and he miraculously survived. He raised his shirt and showed us his scar on his stomach and said that the doctor told him not to get any job that stresses him. For past three year, he did not tell anyone in his family and lived a homeless life. I asked him why and he said that he did not want to worry anyone. When he was talking about his family, his voice started to tremble and his eyes turned red. And he continued: “I am going back to my home tomorrow by bus. I need 6 more dollars for the bus ticket. Can you guys help me out?” When Don asked for money, honestly, I was a little suspicious of him but did not say anything and let Andy give him 6 dollars from the donations we got from our friends.

            While we were talking to Don, there were two policemen walking toward us. Don seemed little bit nervous when he saw the policemen and suddenly suggested us to walk around the city. As we were walking around, Don was keep peeking backwards; I looked back and noticed that those two policemen were still stalking us. Don was pointing at the buildings and was mumbling about something but I could not understand what he was saying. He probably was distracted by the policemen.

            We ended up walking around the city for a while and the policemen were gone already. We finally came back to the place where we were originally. Around 10pm, a van from Bethesda mission organization came to provide the homeless food and supplies. Homeless people from all over the city surrounded the van and tried to get whatever they needed. Among the bustling people, a young girl caught my eyes; she was walking in between the homeless people wearing a very thin blouse and was shivering. But people were too busy and no one seemed to care about the girl. Eventually the man who drove the van gave the girl more clothes to wear.

            I got sandwiches from the van and ate with the homeless. During the dinner time, I met an old man whose name was Walter. He graduated from Harrisburg Community College and worked as a mechanic for 20 years. I asked him the reason he is living on the street and he said “I sleep on the street once in a while. I love gambling and unluckily I messed up with my money this month so I have to sleep on the street for now.” In an astonishing manner, I asked him if sleeping outside is uncomfortable and then he replied “No, it is not too bad. I have my blankets and they are comfortable.” Walter’s responses were very shocking to me. And I was sad to witness the ironical situation with the mission organizations in Harrisburg.

            Chris got gloves and a scarf from the van since he did not have them – they are very effective at keep the warmth. After Chris got them, we set up our beds and laid down on our beds. I covered myself with the blankets I brought. It was relatively warm night. Looking at the dark sky, I whispered to myself what Walter said: “It is not too bad.”

Issac Won

On the way to be settled

            When we arrived at Harrisburg, people were starting to go to bed already. I did not consider the fact that the weather is getting cold which will make people go to bed earlier and earlier. We met three people and had an opportunity to talk to them but two of them seemed to be on drugs. Andy, Chris and I came back to the campus around 11:30pm concluded that it was meaningless to stay. On the way back in the car, there was a heated discussion about our ministry. Andy questioned about the impact of sleeping with the homeless people. I argued against Andy telling him that we cannot expect too much yet since it is only the beginning process and told him that sharing similar experiences will build stronger relationship between the homeless and us. To be honest, I did not have that much certainty about what I was telling Andy. When I wanted to start a non-profit organization, and eventually thought about sleeping with them, I was very excited about influencing the homeless and ultimately change their lives. However, the harder I tried, the further the solution seemed to get.

            Last night, one of my friends Chris joined us to sleep with the homeless. In fact, there were at least three other people who promised to come but Chris was the only one who kept the promise – the other two had to go to a concert on that night. My goal in the beginning was to make people be aware of the austere situation that the homeless are experiencing on the street and that awareness will make people to help them out. Unfortunately, now I realized that such a goal is not easy to accomplish. I have been eagerly advertising what Andy and I were doing to my friends. In fact many of my friends expressed interests in joining us but one thing I have noticed was that some of them seemed to be more interested in an experience that is “cool” to talk about.  I know some people go to Harrisburg with Andy on Friday; however, I wonder how many of them really comprehend what they are doing; I am very curious how many of those people understand this as a mere “cool field trip.”

            I strongly believe that it is critically important for us to balance things. For me, to be honest, college life comes before this homeless ministry. In my opinion, God has called me to Messiah College and excel at what I am doing (Accounting) so that I can glorify Him through it. He knew that this is the best way for me to serve Him. For me, therefore, the homeless ministry is a way to help me to have a better picture of the world where I need to serve the Lord.  For I am one of them, I totally understand when college students struggle with balancing things. I think it is not a big problem to not joining us but I think when people join our ministry, they need to have right understanding of what we are doing. Our ministry is not a short term field trip in which we go to Harrisburg and feed some hungry people (or talk to them) to see the homeless saying “thank you” and feel better about ourselves. We need to understand that they are part of us and brothers in Christ who need love, care and other needs. What we need to do is to become part of them by approaching them in many different ways to tell them that they are not forgotten and different from us.  

            Andy and I had a long conversation about these issues. Trough the conversation and our experiences out in the street, I have also learned that the solution I was getting was wrongfully focused. All the things we have been doing and will do are for no one else but for God. I wanted the ministry to be beneficial for my friends in Messiah College and the homeless people but those were the wrong objectives; Andy and I need to just be part of the plan (not the plan itself) that God has, and do not need to be too much stressed about making a change.

As a conclusion, Andy and I decided to spend as much time available with them and share experience yet, balance things. Fortunately, we are not taking any classes during the month of January. I am looking forward to spend more time with the homeless during the month and make a documentary to provide opportunities to others who have not seen what we saw. However, during the school years, we can only try our best to spend our time for the homeless. At this point, I do not expect our method to be most efficient and effective. It is very possible that we cannot make a huge impact or change both in the homeless community in Harrisburg and Messiah College. No matter how influential out ministry will get, as long as we have right minds, actions, and objectives I think we can play our roles at the best. That is all that matters.

Issac Won

Internal Struggles

Last night we did not stay in Harrisburg. This is my fault because I was struggling with the effectiveness of it and I was also struggling with the sleep depravity that it brings the next day and the rest of the week. We also got there  too late when people were already sleeping. We did get to talk to three people; Charles, Jennifer, and Author. This was the first time we met Author and I don't know if he was on drugs or mentally ill because he wasn't making any sense with what he was saying. It was a blessing to see Charles, who seems to have a strong faith in God, found a friends house to stay at for a while as he tries to find another job. Charles was telling us about his mother in a nursing home and how he likes to go and visit her. When he was younger his mother was ill and under care and wasn't able to be with Charles too much. He made a lot of poor decisions when he was in his late teen years into his twenties that led him down a bad road. People told him his mother wasn't there for him because she didn't love him, which he came to find out was a lie. After drug use Charles went into rehab and was able to break the addiction of drugs and alcohol. He says he's been clean for 22 years now. Around the time that he was in rehab for drugs he went to counseling. His counselor told him that he needed to reconnect with his mother and simply love her for who she is. He told us that after doing that he was able to become close to his mother and has learned that she did not neglect him because she didn't love him but because she was ill. It seemed like that simple concept really changed Charles life, the idea to just love someone for who they are. It's something that we should take to heart as we do ministry as well. Nobody that we meet will be perfect, or even close to perfect, and neither am I, but we have to learn to love people for who they are. I need to learn to not judge anyone that is living on the street because that is not my job, my job is to love them for who they are just as Christ loves us simply for who we are. My prayer is that this mindset will guide me to better serve these people. I think that it can guide all of us. Love people for who they are, not what you expect them to be, not who you think they should be, but for who they are, and from that I believe we can truly serve them better in the name of Christ.

Another way to serve them better is to go in earlier on Saturdays. After deciding to not stay last night Isaac and I had a long talk about the most efficient and affective way to serve the homeless people. We concluded that sleeping on the streets with them is worth doing because it builds a deeper level of friendship by creating a shared experience where we can relate better to them. But we decided to start leaving earlier to spend more time with them in the evenings and not just later at night. This way we might be able to talk to them before they get drunk and help them break addictions instead of telling a drunk man he shouldn't drink. Isaac and I also talked about the importance of balancing this ministry with our school work, social lives, and other activities we are involved with. I think it's something that I need to work on more and pray about. Finding a balance will better allow me to serve those in Harrisburg more and the campus at Messiah College more.

We also have been talking about trying to make a documentary about homelessness and the mission we are doing to try and raise awareness about the issues behind homelessness. We are still in the process of getting everything lined up to do this and we are also trying to figure out our exact vision behind it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. If you have any suggestions what the documentary should be about or what we should put in it, let us know.

One last thing I wanted to talk about was this past friday night. We were able to take eight people in, two first timers, and that was a real blessing to see all those people go in. I feel like we were able to reach more people which is awesome.

Please pray for our ministry, and God Bless.

Andrew Breighner

Problems...

             “I am excited to see you guys next week.” It was already seven days ago when Greg said good- bye to us. I was very excited that another Saturday has come; I was anxious to see Greg again. However, I had to go to Philadelphia for a conference; therefore, we could not go to Harrisburg until 9:00pm.

            As soon as I got back, I took a quick shower and hopped in Andy’s car. Andy went to Harrisburg last night and he let Greg borrow his sleeping bag for all of his stuff got stolen. Therefore, we bought a sleeping bag for him on the way to Harrisburg. I could not wait to see Greg’s face with smile. The thirty minutes drive to Harrisburg felt longer than it used to be. When we arrived, we looked for Greg. Andy and I walked around for a while, but we could not find him. I was very disappointed and I could tell that Andy was feeling the same way from his complexion. We were hoping that Greg will show up sometime soon but he did not come back no matter how long we have waited.

            While we were waiting for Greg, we talked to Bruce. I met Bruce about a month ago when I first went to Harrisburg with Andy. He is a big and old black man who likes to talk and drink. To be honest, I cannot understand him very well since he slurs a lot. When he talks, he drools but it seems like he does not notice that. It is only my guess, but I think his habit of faltering is caused by the combination of alcohol and some type of disability. Anyways, the conversation we had with Bruce was very helpful for us to learn about him. Bruce has ten children and four grand children and they are all scattered over the US. When he was younger, he was a part of a gang clan in Philadelphia. I could not understand why he had to choose to be a gang member so I asked. After listening to my question, Bruce laughed and said “You gotta be real. Weak people need protection.” I was rather surprised when I heard his answer. I did not have sympathy for those who are involved in gang activities thinking that they are the ones who make horrible decisions. However, Bruce was telling me that in fact they are victims of violence and poverty. I could not believe that the world has gotten that sad.

            Bruce’s stories were quite fascinating and somewhat entertaining; however, it seemed like Andy was more concerned about Greg. He finally asked Bruce where Greg is. Bruce clicked his tongue, and made a gesture that was indicating drugs. I don’t know about Andy, but when I saw that, I could not believe my eyes. Bruce continued, “Do you see that street? If you go to that street and turn at the corner, he will be there.” As soon as I heard it, I wanted to go and check it with my eyes. For a moment, I felt betrayed by Greg. Because I thought he was a right minded person, it shock hit me harder. I asked Bruce if Greg does drug frequently, and Bruce replied: “yes.”

            Andy and I talked to many other people, but we were already enervated. Around 12, we walked toward Andy’s car to get our blankets. On the way, Andy told me that he wants to go back telling me all our works seem meaningless. I was thinking the same way, but I felt like we should stay and be consistent. I told Andy how I felt and he soon agreed. I looked up and saw the dark sky. It was very dark but I could still see the glimpse of stars.

            Since we brought enough blankets, we could sleep relatively comfortably. We woke up at 7 and went to the church called Grace united Methodist church – the church that provides breakfast for the homeless every Sunday. We sat down with a guy named Ryan who is only nineteen years old whose entire family is addicted to marijuana. He escaped from his house to be away from drugs. While we were talking to him, we saw Greg coming in to the church. He greeted to us and sat right next to me. I greeted him back and asked him where he was last night. He said he was at a friend’s house. I did not ask him anymore because I knew that the truth really does not matter.

Whether Greg is right or Bruce is right, the fact that we need to help both does not change. However, from the experience this time, I began to think about what it really means to help the homeless. I realized that something about the homeless ministries in Harrisburg was not right. People do not work and get good meals three times every day. I think such a circumstance like this is only promoting laziness among the homeless. They do not feel the need to manage money wisely; therefore, they squander it in wrong ways. May be I sound arrogant, but after living like the homeless for two days, I realized that it is not too bad to be a homeless in Harrisburg. Nice meals three times every day, no need to work, money from the government to spend for whatever, and pretty comfortable sleeping places (as long as you have enough blankets which most homeless people do have)… why not be a homeless?

Oh! About the sleeping bag! Apparently, Greg’s new blankets are stolen again which means Andy’s sleeping bag is now gone.

Issac Won

Renewing of Minds

So just this past night me and Isaac slept over on the streets again to try and build more relationships and try to just give people hope. We were able to talk to a young 19 year old named Ryan who is having troubles at home and has a child that he is having trouble raising because of disputes with the mother. He definitely needs prayer and we were able to give him a bible and pray for him. We also got to talk to Bruce some more and he was drunk as usual but told us that what we are doing gives him hope. He says he has 10 kids that he tries to take care of and talk to. He also told us that Greg is a con and smokes crack. This is something that i am struggling with. Everyone has a different story to tell and I don't really trust anyone. They know how to talk the talk to get what they want. I don't know what to do to help because it's hard to trust anyone. You can't just give them something because they could just be conning you. It's been really tough. I'm starting to realize that these people are not poor, they are mostly just lazy and choosing harmful lifestyles. This may not be correct for me to say but it's what I am feeling. All the people on the street are able to get three meals a day, they have a paycheck coming in from the government the first of every month, and they don't have to do anything throughout the week. The extra money they get from the government goes to drinking and drugs because they don't have to pay for anything else. They are given blankets and basic supplies without having to work or do anything. I know that as Christians we are given grace and salvation for not doing anything but accepting Christ in our lives but in return Christ asks for our lives. On the streets, homeless people receive gifts from charities and the government just to abuse them. There is no accountability as to how they use their handouts. As Christians we should not be like this and that is the message that I want to give to the homeless living on the streets. There needs to be a renewing of their minds to be able to truly help them. It's been getting hard to do ministry in this type of situation because it's really hard to change how people think. It's also hard because you don't know who you can trust. I hope that this makes sense, it's really hard to describe the whole situation but I hope this paints a picture of some of the problems that we are facing.

Andrew Breighner

11/5/2010

Tonight was a really good night. We had 8 people from school that went and we had a lot of good conversations with people. Some of the people we were able to talk to were Bruce, Greg, Ray, and a couple other people who we just had a little small talk with. I was able to talk to Bruce, he was a little drunk like he normally is and he has a slurred speech, he told us that he really appreciated that we were just there to talk to him and that we were his friends. It was really encouraging to see him notice that we are there to just talk to him and spend time with him. Hopefully he can see the love we have for him through Christ and will turn his life around and give it to God. We got to talk to Greg again and he was encouraging to talk to. He is taking a class at the local Y that helps people get jobs. I pray that he can find a job soon and get off the street. I told him that he should come to visit Messiah sometime and next week we might come up and pick him up on Saturday and have him come and visit. That should be really exciting. I was also able to give him a sleeping bag tonight because some of his stuff got stolen, though he still maintains a good attitude. The last guy, Ray, I wasn't able to talk to but there was a group of the guys that went over to talk to him. They were able to pray for him and he seemed to open up even though he was a little drunk. Hopefully we made an impact on him.

As you can see drinking is a major issue with a lot of the people on the streets. They turn to drinking as their source of hope and not to God. Our prayer is that they see God and Christ as their hope and savior and that we can show them the love of Christ. Tonight we were able to pray for both Bruce and Ray and I ask that you can pray for them also. Also keep Greg in your prayers that he can find a job and give praise that he is looking to serve the Lord.