My heart was pumping like crazy. I was sweating and tentative to walk forward. As I was getting closer to Seoul Station, my mind was spinning and changing thoughts hundred times per second. Tonight, I planned to sleep outside on the street with the homeless. Andy decided not to join me since such action could cause him some legal problems; moreover, he is too noticeable among the homeless in Korea where there are no white homeless people.
I wandered around to find a homeless man to whom I can connect with. I figured that it would be meaningless to just sleep outside by myself since I would not be able to learn anything about the homeless. In fact, I was looking for someone like Greg (my homeless friend in Harrisburg, PA) who is willing to help me to learn about the homelessness. It was not easy. Many people were drunk and mentally unstable. It was almost to the point where I could not really distinguish between the homeless and simply drunk people.
Finally, I saw an old man sitting on the stairs near the main gate of Seoul station. I approached to him and asked if he wanted anything to eat.
“I don’t need anything to eat. I just need water. Could you get me some water?” the man said politely.
I ran to a convenient store in the station and brought him a bottle of water and I discreetly sat next to him.
“Did you eat yet? Do you want some of my kimbab?” He asked me as he showed me his kimbab (it is a Korean dish that resembles much like Sushi rolls)
I told him that I am not hungry then he started to eat. While I was sitting with the old man I could notice the pedestrians looking at me weirdly. Maybe after he had 3 pieces of kimbab, he stopped eating.
“I can’t eat anymore. My stomach hurts.” The man said in pain and he continued: “My stomach cannot handle much food.”
We were sitting down together for like an hour. I asked him various things including the reason he is on the streets. The old man became a homeless about a month ago because he could not work anymore. His children are living far south of Korea; therefore, he rarely gets any help from them. After awhile, I carefully asked him if he can help me out to experience the homelessness in Korea.
“No.. I am afraid I cannot help you.” The old man said with his confused look and said: “I like to be alone.”
I tried to convince him but I couldn’t. He was saying that it is illegal to be with a young man (which is clearly a lie). I gave up to convince him and asked him where I can get cardboard boxes. He told me the location and I went there telling him that I will be back soon.
When I came back, the old man disappeared. The sky was already dark, and I did not know what to do. I felt like I was abandoned. I have been to Seoul station perhaps more than 100 times since I came to Korea but the place looked too different for me tonight. It was cold, hostile and grotesque.
Issac Won
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